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About Varied / Professional J E Haldeman33/New Zealand Group :iconcatharticnightmare: CatharticNightmare
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Deviant for 9 Years
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Statistics 883 Deviations 2,689 Comments 36,045 Pageviews

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3 Stamps
Himegoto Sucks Stamp by jehaldeman
Ranma 1/2 Fan Stamp by jehaldeman
Thanks for the Fave! by jehaldeman
Set of 3 stamps of your choosing.
Bottle Cap Digital Collage
Keep Calm Earring Designs by jehaldeman
Vocaloid Mini Dog tags by jehaldeman
Bottle Cap Subscription by jehaldeman
Digital collages are all the rages these days, and normally I sell my wares via etsy or my upcoming shop on my website.  This is a specific deal to my deviant art watchers - unmarked personally designed digital collages.   This deal gets you 4 sheets at 4x6 at whatever size you need or 2 sheets at A4/Letter sized. 

You don't have to provide the images.  Just a theme, and what you need and what size you need.

If a template purchase is required don't worry that's included in the price!
Wattpad Book Cover
Love Makes People Bleed by jehaldeman
Tale of Two Souls Cover by jehaldeman
Rising Karma Press April Issue by jehaldeman
If you're an author on wattpad, (fanfic or otherwise) and you need a cover to provide an insight to your works - this one's on you.  72 DPI only, and not for use on anything commercial.
Generic Traditional Portrait
Ryan Cathartic Nightmare (Bizcard ver.) by jehaldeman
Hideto Matsumoto (Pencil) by jehaldeman
Red Monika 2003 BW by jehaldeman
Pencil based / Simple inks Portrait (shoulders/bust) - Comic/Mixed style only.
I keep the original at this price, and shove it in a folder for portfolio use,
to get one that's shipped to you please note me for a quote
B&W Digital Comission
Sai Fujiwara BW by jehaldeman
JDT Line art for Point Blank Series by jehaldeman
Cathartic Nightmare: The Boys are Back In Town by jehaldeman
One single character
Digital/Comic book style
Felix Stephens - Cathartic Nightmare by jehaldemanCathartic Nightmare: Rachel Lindstrom by jehaldemanCathartic Nightmare: Ryan (Silver Fox Edition.) by jehaldeman
Photo Trace / Photo Paint
Kajimono ala Tale of Souls by jehaldeman
Manic Panic Angel by jehaldeman
Kajiprint by jehaldeman
Jensen Ackles - Dean Winchester (COLOR) by jehaldeman
Seven Nation Flaming Army by jehaldeman
Kaji Poster (Skylar Pheonix Makara_ by jehaldeman
Jumpin on the bandwagon here - my style of choice is to digitally trace a photo or 3D model.  From there I rework the line art, and digitally color it.  I use  Wacom Bamboo, and a mix of photoshop and other tools.  Single person/character and colors included. 
Book Cover - Professional (Non Wattpad)
Rise of Chaos by jehaldeman
Driven Ebook Cover by jehaldeman
Rise of Xosha by jehaldeman
Full style print and digital color cover for your novels. 


jehaldeman has started a donation pool!
53 / 10,000
Trying to live my life as a dorky novelist, artist and author isn't easy. Any points donated is much appreciated.

Currently if you donate 100 or more i'll do a quick sketch on DA muro for you.
If you do 1000 or more, i'll do a full B&W one person art piece..
2500 or more full color...
5000 or more... I'm gonna marry you (KIDDING) - I'll do two or more characters in color.

I sadly don't do furries not because i'm against them, but because i suck at anything but people.

You must be logged in to donate.
  • :icondahub:
    Donated Sep 13, 2015, 9:21:17 PM
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Deviant
    Donated Sep 12, 2015, 10:40:05 PM


Subscribe Today! (Patreon Update) by jehaldeman
Subscribe Today! (Patreon Update)

Yep. That's it, there aren't going to be many more free updates - and the paid ones in future are now going to paid customers only.  It's not that i don't love y'all or anything it's that I need to adhere to a certain standard.  That being said, there are some inexpensive rewards, including the ever annoying standard "pledge for pledge" - which i detest highly, but at a certain level it should work.  However I do reserve the right to decline pledge for pledge if it's something i refuse to support.  

I'll be doing more updates with art work and crafts this year as i'm at a stalemate with my writing. 

So subscribe, and get updates - you never know - you might just find your next christmas gift for your boyfriend on my list! 

Boris - Crowley WIP (Original Lineart Stage 1) by jehaldeman
Boris - Crowley WIP (Original Lineart Stage 1)
This was the start of an etsy order. xD i don't have much more to say other than i have more characters to add.
I miss the morning dew drops that sprinkle down memory lanes into the discreet function leading a hop skip and a bop into the old man’s head. I miss the extreme angled moments of the simplistic snowflake sharing it’s past with the beginning of time.

Momentarily Screwed.
Distantly we’re forged.

Our past has been obliterated by the media, our peers and the experiences we hide from.
Breaking the hierarchy trend only proves the limits and barriers that we set for ourselves.  We set them all on our own while we smoke the ganja that’s cooked up in the congressional kitchen.  Yet in our minds we hope that we’re smashing them one by one with the diamond encrusted hammers – finding out that the gold handles are worth the most.   Worthless silicon screeching to the daylight sounds of regret and mistaken desire.

Wireless Synchronicity

Where the hell have we decided to go wrong in our fork in the road?

We scream in each other’s sub text, yelling the rules of the game and explaining our warrior instinct of who’s said what wrong.  We miss the ability to discuss our fears, addictions and sexual mistakes to the polite mourning of yesteryear. Stealing the virginity of our intent, deciding before it’s even come out of the closet what it’s intentions are and how they’re full of ill poison and misandry.  Only to blow the dust off of Grandma’s hearing aids – we’re no longer able to hear our thoughts.

Fame and fortune.

Distrubtion and Retribution

Tantalizing smells and gambling on the fact that nobody can see your face across the wires.. How are we going to advertise our correct belief?

Socializing our bodily, sexual and mental desires to round up our fears to drive them into the clean, edited and re-formatted novella of life. We no longer care about the truth, we only wish to see what our version of everything becomes.  Spoilers become our history, and television ruins the sub-plot.  We control those around us and desire to reach the sky.

Speak up about the limits.
Speak up about the barriers.

But mommy that hammer you gave me got me hundreds of dollars for it’s handle on ebay!  Why would I want to break the barriers with that tool you gave me?  I’m rich!

One post
Two post
Three post

Social justice is a militia – it’s rising up from the ranks of the websites that gave us more to life than just writing up on a bulletin board about man boobs and horrible pornography.  We’re preaching to the unpreachable, and becoming the right that trumps the wrong.  Don’t need the worms, we’re climbing the ladder to be the top of the food chain, and we’re foraging for attention at every turnpike.  Driven by the green – mistaken sympathy and the lost factor of the empathy drives up the painting of the silver toned linings in our clouds.

We are told to grow up.
We are told to provide.

Bombs over hypochondriacs and their need to diagnose everyone else’s problems while guessing their own cancerous disasters on medical websites during an episode of Jeopardy.

Seizures of power – gathering the prowess in the addiction. Writhing in the moment to write up a disastrous Sudoku puzzle that does nothing but dizzy the confusion.  Mass hysteria abounds to blame everyone but yourself – becoming the most important figure in your friends list.  Fissures are painted over, cracks are filled from the goop you gather in your parades.  Will we ever settle our debts while snacking on other’s mistakes?

Breathe once…

Breathe twice…

Panicking over nothing.  Trigger’s been hit, last one on deck’s a rotten egg!

Believing in nothing, believing in something – someone’s bound to get hurt.  Always having an opinion that follows the trend to get yourself back up that points system you so wish you followed.  Someone’s always going to be the drama that weighs you down.  Can’t have Missy Wannabe crashing your wonderful release of joy, orgasm and North Korean style fake portraits can we?  So you shed the drama, you walk away and find out nobody wants to get along to begin with.  Nobody wants to keep the peace, everyone’s got their stupid weapons.  Dildos, mechanical pencils and even someone’s digital camera amongst the way.  Penning down the future of who’s next, who’s wrong and who’s no longer right.  Snow’s gonna fall when you upload your whistle sounds to the website you choose.  Ancient traditions are nothing but a faded memory by now.

La la freaking la…  I’m ignoring you now, I’m plugging my ears in and forgetting you exist.

We’re bound to be nonsensical.  Domiciles blown through the glass that disconnects from reality.  We dream of social media sheep to the point where we no longer see trees of green or red roses, but blue F’s and Blue T’s and Flags over Profile pictures.  We blast away those we think we deserve to hurt – those who go against the grain.  The final straw has hit – people want nothing from us.  We has humans are always the victims.

Stab Stab Stab.
Right in the back.

I can’t breathe when you’re standing right next to me – you’re smoking 30 miles away from me.  Your armpits smell like Donald Trump and a Mcdonald’s hamburger.
Now or never.

It’s gotta be the quick and simple – disgusting and unrefined.  Unfinished and disorganized – distraught and ready to put on show.  Art can’t be explained before it makes us go into a psychotic break.  We can’t look at another music video before we call the FCC and tell them how much our children have nightmares.  You can’t do this or that before I’ll scream and cry wolf!

The world is in social ruins – who are we to judge those around us if we don’t know?

When will we step out of the plastic bubble to ask others how they are, or what the problem is so we can learn to build our stepping tones to the nearest bridges. When will we stop burning bridges because someone hurt our pride and we won’t let them discuss the simplicity of the problem?   When will we stop blaming each other for something that doesn’t involve us? When will we stop shooting each other for extreme reasons – stabbing each other, stealing from each other and causing disarray?

Genkai Haretsu my friend.
Stop the madness.
Break the limits.
Be yourself, and save the world.
Breaking the Limits of our Future
This is one of my problematic issues: I get angry and I rant.
I've also been known to nearly get restraining orders because of my angry rants or even this kind of poetry or prose.
The problem is this time? It's about damn time we stopped to think before we start beleiving in everything the media tells us.
It's about DAMN time we made sure we have the right text before the subtext gets miscalculated.

Break the barriers and don't be a hoard of following sheep.
  • Listening to: Molly wanting out
  • Reading: Nothing. My brain is fuzzy! :P
  • Watching: Netflix, im forcing myself!!
  • Playing: Tribal Defence
  • Eating: Nutella sticks and popcorn
  • Drinking: WATER. Cause i drank my iced tea.
Chances are REALLY high Tale of Souls won't come out as quick as i'd like.  Ergo i'm not sure a kickstarter is the best option right now.

However, because people are enjoying my art i'm highly considering doing two tee spring campaigns (as in two different shirt combo designs ) 

One will be for my editing, and one will be for boosting my Fenix Fire Designs business. 

More information will come soon :)

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Add a Comment:
SubakuNoHana Featured By Owner May 2, 2016  Student
thanks so much for fav ! :heart:  You Rock! Supernatural Funny 
toongsteno Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the favs! :dance:
jehaldeman Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2016  Professional General Artist
You're quite welcome.
AngelGanev Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2015
Great works ;P 
jehaldeman Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2016  Professional General Artist
Thank you so much O_O
NijixTenshi Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks very much for the watch!
jehaldeman Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2015  Professional General Artist
You're welcome :D
CarlynnRose Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
YAY!!  Thanks so much for the watch!!  dance
Archery-colors Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
Thank you for the  llama cancan 
Bro hug 
KiraiMirai Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you for the favourite on Inform our future
llama loveHere's a Llama, special for you!
Please check out my gallery when you can.
Please check out my newly made groups! :iconv--flower: :iconallthestamps:

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